Thursday, August 19, 2010

A woman with an obsession is a woman who has very little sales resistance…

I know there are women who have a lot of shoes (I’m looking at you, Scottish Woman). I love shoes, too. Sort of. I like looking at shoes and maybe even trying on some shoes. But I really don’t like to wear shoes. And I simply cannot walk in high heeled shoes, no matter how pretty they look on my feet in the store. Oh, I envy the women with shapely feet and strong calves to be able to wear the beautiful peep-toe shoes. *sigh*

Give me a pair of flip flops in the summer and a pair Crocs in the winter and I am good to go. Hey, I live in Texas, I don’t need any more shoe than that for winter. I think I only own one pair of socks, and those are for emergencies, like when I have to put on my rainboots and slosh through the back yard on poop patrol. (Yes, in a sad economic downturn, we had to let the pooper scooper go) And don’t think for a minute I’m actually picking up the poop. I’m just showing CGMan where it is. What? We each have our jobs.

I also own only one purse. When it wears out, I will hunt like mad for weeks, searching out the perfect replacement. I cannot buy just any old purse, because I will be carrying it until it, too, falls apart. It can’t be an old lady purse. And it can’t be a big, huge purse. And it has to be leather, but not purple leather. Oh, and the biggest deal breaker on a purse is that middle zipper pocket inside. What the hell is that for? I can’t stand it. So any purse that looks like it might be “the one” is checked first for that annoying zipper thing that separates the interior of the purse into two useless halves.

It is very easy for me to walk right on past purses and shoes. I am not swayed.

However, I am a woman. I am not without vices. I’ve been known to throw caution to the wind and purchase a thing for which I have little need. Some women have one, while most don’t have any at all. It’s something I find just so alluring and feminine, sometimes I think I want them all!

I am positively giddy when I see new styles. I have to limit myself to just one, on any given outing. Otherwise I believe I would have far more than I would ever use. When I find the perfect one, I feel so pretty and girly. I can’t wait to get home and put it on. I feel like there isn’t anything I can’t do. My husband forgives my little indulgences, because he knows when I wear one, he wins. He thinks they’re sexy.

I know some girls go for the frilly ones, ones that look like a French maid, or even the ones with fur on them, but not me. I wear one that can withstand the punishment I put it through. When I wear it, I mean business. Contrary to what my husband thinks, I don’t wear them just to turn him on (that’s a bonus) I wear them for a purpose, to get the job done. And when I do wear one? There is always a happy ending.

This must be how it feels to be able to buy, and wear, fabulous shoes. Perfect shoes. Shoes that make you feel so pretty, that you can do anything! Perfectly fabulous shoes, with a matching purse! OMG! Is that perfection? Doesn’t that just set your senses to tingling? However, I’m not talking about shoes. Or purses. For me, my guilty pleasure, and the object of my husband’s desire, is….


 Lasagna chicken tetrazzini shrimp low boil rum cake omelettepork loin with red wine BBQ Texas style pecan piepumpkin pie  Buckeye candy Christmas cookies! shrimp on the barbie chicken pot pieitalian rustic soupHappy Hour! 


…the apron, of course!

What were you thinking?

*Scroll over the pictures to see all the wonderful things I do in my aprons.

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