I have wanted to be a grandma since the first kid of mine left the house. He wasn’t even married yet, but we all knew he would marry his Sunshine one day, so I figured it was only a matter of time. Well, nine years later, here I am, waiting for the phone call to tell me they are at the hospital, giving birth to my grandboy.
While I was in the shower this morning, CGMan was at the sink, shaving and listening to me mumble. He asked what I was talking to myself about. I told him I was practicing nursery rhymes, because it has been a long, long, time since I had to quote one and I wasn’t sure I could remember them. You would think that wanting to be a grandma as bad as I have, I would have stayed current on this stuff. Yeah, I wish I had that thought, too.
He laughed and said I could practice on him. I started out with the one that came to my mind the quickest;
There once was a man from Nantucket…
…when I heard CGMan yelling “NO! No! You can’t use that one. You know better. Don’t you remember Mother Goose? Try some of those.”
So I’m standing there in the shower, trying to remember back to days when I could rattle off nursery rhymes faster than a sailor on a 4 hour pass. Of course, that was way back before empty nest happy hours and menopausal cotton brain. I got sidetracked remembering how thin I was back then, too. Damn Mother Nature. Oh yeah, back to the nursery rhymes.
I was able to remember a only a few:
“Georgie Porgie puddin and pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
he kissed them too,cuz he was gay.”
“Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread”
“There was a little girl
who had a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good,
she was very good.
When she was bad
she got a fur coat, jewels,
a waterfront condo and a sports car.”
“Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack tripped over the candlestick
Well goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!”
That’s not how they go?
I told you it had been a while!
CGMan is pretty sure that is NOT how they go and says I am going to be an outcast grandma if I don’t get it right. He’s certain the Marine and Sunshine would not appreciate it if their boy grew up to be that kid, all because of his grandmother.
I’m not worried.
I can learn the
boring nursery rhymes. I’ll bet there’s an app for that.
Bring on the grandbabies!