Thursday, June 16, 2011

Green .2532 acre is the place for me….

I know I haven’t been around much lately. That is because I am now a farmer. And OMG, farmers work hard! They get up long before the sun and work all day in the heat, watching over their crops, protecting them from blackbirds, bunnies, robins and other nefarious creatures who would make the farm their own personal buffet. They weed, water and sow until after the sun goes down.

It’s a good thing I’m a city farmer, because that would just not work for me. I get up around 6:30 or 7, feed the hounds, have a cup of coffee, see what’s going on in the blog world, then head out to my farm.

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My farm has no irrigation system, so this farmer has to stand out there almost every day with her coffee in one hand and the hose in the other. Standing there in pink fuzzy slippers and a powder blue robe, it’s a pretty sight, let me tell you. This morning, it started to rain just as I went out to take a picture of the crops. Figures. I can’t get rain for weeks and the morning I want to crawl around and take pictures. Oh wait, I’m a farmer, I’m supposed to pray for rain.

Here is another difference between real farmers and this particular city farmer, real farmers know that plants GROW. When I planted those little bitty plants, I had no idea they would get SO BIG. I’ve only ever had potted plants. And honestly? They were silk.

It has been quite the surprise for me to go out every morning and wonder what the hell I’m going to do with all these pickles.

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That big plant that I bought from the little shop of horrors used to be 8 cute, teeny little plants. The little sign in the pot said they are pickling cucumbers, which is why I call them pickles. I may be a city girl, but I do know that pickles used to be cucumbers. I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe a jars worth of pickles from each plant? Um, not so much.

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From what I read on Google the Farmer’s Almanac, every little yellow flower will be a pickle. And these crazy plants will keep making pickles until they die. In the winter.

That’s the other thing! I figured since I was a farmer, I should maybe learn how to can my own pickles. I mean, how hard can it be? (I swear, someone better put that on my tombstone, because those words will be the death of me)

So I bought a canning pot and 12 jars.

Yeah.

Oh, another thing you need for pickles? Dill. You can’t just use the store bought dill. No, of course not. You have to grow your own.

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I feel a bit like Bubba Gump when I talk about my pickles; we got dill pickles, bread & butter pickles, sweet pickles, garlic pickles, jalapeño pickles, salt pickles, kosher pickles…

I have other plants on my farm, too.

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CGMan picked out this little banana pepper plant at the farm store (otherwise known as the nursery- not to be confused with a baby nursery, which is the kind of store I’ll be hitting in the near future, because that’s what Grandmas do. That and can pickles). I asked him why he wanted a banana pepper plant, he said he likes them. So. I have harvested 5 peppers from this one tiny little plant. How many has CGMan eaten? Zero.

I’m not a pepper person, per se.

You’re welcome.

As I was saying, I don’t know what to do with banana peppers and neither does CGMan, apparently. Any suggestions would be helpful. Just don’t tell me to can them. All 12 of my jars are for pickles.

Guess what these are?

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Brussels sprouts! There are 8 of these cute little guys, too. I don’t know what I was thinking. I buy a pound at a time from the grocery. Did I think each plant would produce a little less than a  pound or so?  Not so much. Here is what I learned about them…

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Yeah. That’s a lot of Brussels sprouts. I mean, I like them and all, but really? I’m seriously thinking major giveaways this year. I know you all would just clamor for a pound or five of Brussels sprouts, right? Please?

Don’t even get me started on the tomatoes! We’ll have to discuss them tomorrow, because they are worthy of their own blog post. Geez.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a row to hoe, or some other farm type thing.

12 comments:

  1. Wow what a garden you got going there!! I tried brussel sprouts this year and they got really big but I never got the first sprout :( hope you have better luck.
    igig

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  2. Be thankful you didn't plant a plot of zucchini plants. You can wear out a lot of friendships with those.

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  3. WOW give that lady a 1/2 acre and she would make a fortune. Very nice garden Dawn.

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  4. Your farm is doing sooooo well! Our tomatoes, herbs and mint are doing well; but the strawberries were stolen right off of the plant by varmints!---BTW, Nick and I want on the list for some of your pickles!!!

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  5. Wow, that is quite the garden. I would gladly enter to win some brussel sprouts. How do they grow? In the ground? That's awesome!

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  6. Wow Dawn, I am impressed. When riotous chaos strikes the US in 2012, you can move into the Ducks Mahal Commune and take your rightful place with the leaders of the fields and greens.

    A very small part of me says I'm really not kidding. I got my land laid out for chickens, sheep, ducks, horses, crops and ammunition. Water and sewer is already set to automatic. I'm looking into small solar generation.

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  7. You may be overwhelmed, but I'm incredibly impressed by your crop Kudos to you!

    (Send me some brussels sprouts - ever since I tried your recipe, I'm eating them all the time.)

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  8. Nice work Mrs Green Jeans! When you harvest you'll have to give us recipes, too!

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  9. Ok, first he says he's "part of an original crowd" for drinking Dr. Pepper (which is gross, and if I ever accidentally take a sip of one instead of my diet coke, I nearly puke), but then he says everyone's doing it. So which is it, are you original, or are you a mindless, Dr.Pepper-drinking sheep? God.

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  10. I had no idea Brussels sprouts grew like that. How funny looking. I have an abundance of cucumbers that hubby insisted on planting. Then he left on a trip and I am taking care of his little patch of mother earth. I thought I could pickle the cucumbers but apparently I can't since they are slicing cucumbers and not the pickling type which you have. Want to trade? I have tomatoes and green peppers too. Oh and melons. What else ya got?

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  11. I am impressed with Dawn's garden! I love gardens, love looking at them, love eating from them - I just don't like caring for them! I would love to be your neighbor!

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  12. That is one serious farm you have going there! Bravo!
    I would also like to be entered into the drawing for Brussels sprouts please :-)

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