Friday, May 6, 2011

Hug ‘em if you got ‘em…

A couple of years ago, two of my besties came to visit me in Austin. They were my next door neighbors when we lived in Maryland, many years ago. Bitzie now lives in Oklahoma and BFF with an “i”, who has the husband with an ex-brother-in-law named Crash, still lives in the ‘hood in Maryland.

After we had dropped BFF with an “i” off at the airport in San Antonio, Bitzie and I took the back road home so we could chat. And chat we did! Which is pretty much what we do whenever we get together. Chat, chat, chat. I was sharing with her the stories of my mom, who was driving me nuts with some silly thing or another. And then I told her how the other BFF thought her mom was equally unnerving at times. I just went on and on, since I had a captive audience. When I had exhausted the subject of my mom and her antics and arguments, Bitzie turned to me and said, “At least you still have your mom.”


How could I forget that she had lost her mom a few months earlier? I felt like an absolute heel. Bitzie was so kind and didn’t take offense to my rambling on about my mom and her shenanigans. But then, she is a kind woman anyway. She just wanted to remind me to be thankful for what I had.

Last night, as I was at the US-led Cinco de Mayo party, (which was a blast! I’ll tell you about the wonderful food, and share my shrimp recipe, next week) there was much talk about who was doing what for Mother’s Day. Lots of brunches. Man, I’ll tell you…us ladies can eat!

Anyway, Chef Sue was telling me that she is very angry at her mother and hasn’t spoken to her in a couple of weeks. I was shocked! Who could be mad at their mother?? Chef Sue turned to me, gave me a hug and said she thought about me as she picked up the phone to call her mom, to invite her for brunch on Sunday. She said to me, “At least I have a mother to be mad at.” I’m so glad she called her mom, because that’s the truth – she has a mother to be mad at.

So listen up.

I don’t care if your mother gets on your very last nerve, eats the last cookie, tells you how to drive, what to wear, how to do your hair and asks for the 3467621364th time when are you going to get married/get divorced/have a baby/get a job/quit your job/move out/move back and when’s the last time you cleaned this toilet? 

You will miss her when she is gone.

Every year for the last four years, I have driven my mom and her sister to the family cemetery, in Kentucky, so they can put flowers on  the graves of their parents. I never once thought of it as a chore. It was an honor. It was something I looked forward to, year after year.

This year, CGMan will be driving me up, so I can place flowers on the graves of my mom and stepdad, as well as my grandparents. It certainly won’t be as fun as it has been in years past, but it will still be an honor and remain something I look forward to, every year.

For those of you whose moms have gone on, I know this weekend you will miss her more than you do every single day. I’m so sorry for your hurt. I wrap my heart around each and every one of you.

And those with moms still around?



Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms!

I want to wish a very special Mother’s Day to my “other mothers” - ORMom and CGMom.
I love you so much!




Mother’s Day 2010
Dawn, CGBro and Mommy


  1. Oh, I'd hug you too if you were still here. This is a great reminder for everyone.

    Happy Mother's Day!

  2. Wishing you a happy Mother's Day. While I do not know your sadness, I was reminded again not to take mom for granted. She had a stroke in March that left me rattled. I will be hugging her extra tight and I'll add one more squeeze for you.

  3. My Mother has been gone for 30 years and i still miss her and come Mothers day it is the hardest. Happy Mothers day Mom,and to all the other Mothers.

  4. You are so right. Every family member can get on our very last nerve, but we miss them so much when it's too late to say so. My mom has been gone for years, but I think of her every day.

    Happy Mother's Day to you, too.

  5. I was thinking of you today; I know you are missing your fabulous Mom. We are peas in a pod; I consider an honor to lay flowers at a loved one's resting place; I hope it brings you peace and a smile, too! Happy Mother's Day, my friend. xo

  6. I hope that you have a wonderful "Mother's Day " ! I miss my Mom very much. She was the glue that held us all together ! She is spending Mother's Day with your Mom and all the Mom's before. Jesus is fixing them a special lunch ! I love you and miss you ! Your BFF Bitzie.

  7. This was just what I needed. Thank you, Dawn.

  8. I'm loving your blog! This post is a really great reminder to cherish our loved ones. My mom is an ocean away, but you know how it is with mothers and their children: miles can't overcome the connection.
    Happy Mother's Day!
    P.S. those shrimp were scrumdeliumptious!

  9. My first wife - I took. My second wife - God gave me. My first wife was nothing like my mother - total opposite. My second wife is a total attitudinal replica of my mother. (God's funny sense of humor b/c he knew how much of a royal pain the fanny my mother could be). The Little Woman and my mom met as my mom went through kemo and my mom loved her to death and called the Little Woman her lump of sugar. My mom a year after me and the Little Woman got married. I'm not sure what the point is here I'm trying to make.

    In odd ways, they live on. Also, dogs and cats count as children. They gave their mother (the Little Woman)a totally poisonous plant for dogs and cats. I'm so stupid. But, the card was cute.


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