Friday, July 30, 2010

When life hands you lemons…

…grab your vodka and make Nantucket Lemonade!

I made this enticing adult beverage for CGMan’s big 50th birthday bash. Let me tell you, it was a hit, especially on a hot summer day in Texas.

At the time, I didn’t think to chronicle the making of this luscious lemonade, but my photographer of the day, Skater, managed to catch a few cameos of this delightful libation. But first, the recipe:

Nantucket Lemonade
Serves 15

5 cups lemonade, homemade or good quality purchased (I used Simply Lemonade)
2 cups cranberry juice
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
3 cups vodka
2 cups ginger ale
4 cups ice cubes
Frozen cranberries and lemon slices for garnish

Combine the lemonade, cranberry juice, lime juice and vodka in punch bowl (or a large beverage dispenser with a tap on the bottom). Just before serving, slowly pour in the ginger ale, add the ice cubes. Garnish with the frozen cranberries and lemon slices, serve immediately.

 

lemonade libation 

I tripled the recipe to make approximately 3 gallons. It was just enough to buzz a crowd of about thirty. They drank it all and there might have been some talk of sucking on the cranberries, but that could be just a rumor. It was that good.

If you’re having a deck party, backyard barbeque or if it’s just plain hot where you are, go ahead and give this a try! It’s delightful!

Here’s my disclaimer- don’t sue me!
*not suitable for children under 21

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Kate, plus 8 and a flake…

Every morning I read the Google news. I like to keep up on the happenings around the world, especially since I don’t watch TV. I read the US news first, then the world news, then the entertainment news. I skip sports because it’s not college football season, and I don’t care about any other sports.

The only reason I read the entertainment section is to see if anyone died. I could give a fat rat’s behind that Lindsay Lohan is in jail. I could also care less about parenting tips from Angelina Jolie.

Speaking of parenting, I saw this little piece of nonsense this morning:

“The Earth is about to be knocked off its axis: Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin, the two most powerful cultural forces in America, are about to meet. In Touch Weekly says Kate and her brood of eight will go camping in the Alaskan wilds with Sarah for an episode of TLC's Kate Plus 8. Palin's retired science-teacher dad, Chuck Heath, will give the kids a hands-on nature lesson.”

Okay, I know I don’t watch a lot of television, but did I miss something?? Since when did Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin become the “two most powerful cultural forces in America”? I mean, really? This author can not think of even one woman in this country who is more powerful than these two dingalings?

I don’t even watch TV and I know these two should have been voted off a long time ago.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life…

I thought I might have had a midlife crisis over the weekend.
But I quickly recognized that I am not old enough for a midlife crisis. It’s not like I’m 50 or anything. I’m only forty-four!

As I started to analyze it, like I do just about everything (including why Phoebe sits like that), I realized the definition of a midlife crisis is to try to recapture one’s youth. That’s when I knew there was no. way. I had a midlife crisis this weekend.

Some of you may remember that I had my children very early in life. I was eighteen when the Marine was born. My “youth” was spent reading Little Golden Books and changing diapers. Not that I would change a minute of it, but that’s the truth of it. If what I had over the weekend was an attempt to recapture my youth, I would have found myself hung-over and pregnant. Um, no thank you.

Rather than “recapturing” my youth, I think instead, I finally get to enjoy what is left of it.

Meet Josh…

also does wedding photography

Josh works at Mom’s Tattoos

no one treats you like Mom

Where moms go to get tattoos.

I used to say I would never get a tattoo, that there wasn’t anything I wanted on my body forever. Well, I used to not like strawberries either, but now I do. Things change. That was also back when I was trying to set a good example for my children. Yeah, like that worked out so well. Between the three of them, there are 11 tattoos.

I had tossed about the idea for a year or so. Now it was time. I went in with an idea in mind and Josh put it to paper. After a couple of revisions, he knew exactly what I wanted. Then it was time to get started. He asked if there were any questions before he got going. Trust me, I did all my research, (one of the advantages of age) so I had no questions. He told me I would be surprised at the number of people who ask, “So, how long will it last?”  I guess FOREVER means something different when you’re twenty.

IMG_4029      IMG_4033 

I watched as all the equipment was taken out of sterile packs (see, ORMom, I checked!) and Josh washed his hands. The whole thing took about an hour and a half. All the while, Josh and I regaling each other with stories of our dogs. Did you know he is also a wedding photographer? To answer the question I know you’re all wondering…yes, it hurt like hell. Was it the worst pain ever?  No. I birthed three babies the way God intended; screaming and without drugs. (okay, I’ll be honest, the babies came too fast for them to give me the drugs. Dammit) So, comparatively, not the worst pain ever, but it hurt. It hurt enough that I’m pretty sure this will be my one and only tattoo. Because I am not young and pain lasts longer.

 Dawn's mom tattoo

I always said if I ever got a tattoo, it would say “Mom” because I love my mom. Let me jog your memory-- three kids, 11 tattoos?  Not one “Mom” . I’m not saying they don’t love me, I’m sure they do. That’s okay, they have my genes and that is far more permanent than any tattoo! BAHAHAHA
For the record, Josh has a “mom” tattoo, as do all three of the other dudes in Mom’s Tattoos (you don’t think she made them do that to work there, do you?)

Oh? And CGMan?

goofybuckeye     Go Bucks!

Totally had a midlife crisis.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Welcome to my patio…

This morning I get to play golf with CGMan and some friends. I don’t know if I’m any good at golf because I don’t keep my score. I do know that I don’t cuss as much and tend to stay out of the woods.

I was going to do a post about the antics at CGMan’s 50th birthday party, but there weren’t any. We all behaved like grown ups and had a really good time. *sigh*  It sucks getting old.

The only thing I have left is to introduce you to the critters on my patio. And no, scorpions are not invited.

Feel free to sing along, I know you remember the song, it’s from Sesame Street.

These are the critters on my patio…

 insurance gecko fan bird

on my patio, on my pat-tee-o-OH…

stick bug big green bug

Yes, these are the critters on my patio. The critters that I spray each day.

 Charlotte

Okay, I didn’t really spray any of them. But I find it very interesting how all manner of critters like to come on my patio.

Oh, and have fun with that song in your head all day.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Did you know…?

…buzzards are legally classified as songbirds in Ohio?

…chewing gum can help improve your memory?

…70% of pet owners sign their pet’s names on greeting cards? My girls send their own cards.

…in 1909, Alice Ramsey was the first woman to drive across the United States? It took 59 days.

…about 15% of the population of New Orleans practices voodoo?

…dogs have fewer than 2,000 taste buds, while humans have about 9,000? That explains a lot!

…you share your birthday with at least 9 million other people?

…that over the weekend CGMan will be celebrating his 50th birthday? I’m giving him gum.

…that 50 doesn’t sound near as old as it did 20 years ago?

Thursday, July 15, 2010

It’s a mystery to me…

Suppose you have a 3,000 sq. foot house and it’s two stories, about 1,500 sq. feet of that would be downstairs, right?

Of that 1500 sq. feet, one small office has wall to wall carpet, leaving 98% of the downstairs covered in tile.

If 3% of the tiled area is covered with an area rug, that would leave 95% of the downstairs covered with tile. Still with me?

What is the probability that a 25”x20” bulldog will upchuck on the 8’x10’ area rug that is surrounded by over 1,000 square feet of tile?


P(A \mid B) = \frac{P(A \cap B)}{P(B)}\,

 

I may not be very good at math, but I can tell you this -100% of the time, the dog will puke on the rug.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Belated patriotism…

During our visit to Florida, our country celebrated it’s 234th birthday. Usually the day is spent at outdoor picnics and backyard barbeques. But we were in Florida where it rained every single day. Because of that, we watched the Washington DC fireworks on TV from the comfort of the air conditioned living room. (Can I just say, I would bear the children of the man who invented air conditioning? If I could still bear children? And holy heat wave, Batman, is Florida ever hot this time of year!)

Anyway, since I didn’t go see fireworks or do the whole 4th of July overeating thing, I almost forgot about it. I know, right? How could I, the consummate patriot, let the birthday of our country go by unmentioned? Well, I’m not.

Happy Belated Birthday, America!!

 

(Thanks to Happy Hour Sue, who thought of it first.)

Monday, July 12, 2010

Home again, jiggity-jig…

Oh! It’s so good to be home!  I love road trips (I may have mentioned that before) and I think the reason is, besides being like a dog and wanting to go for a ride in the car, coming home. It just feels so good to come home.

This is only the second road trip for the girls. A couple of years ago, I drove them to Florida, by myself. They were younger then, so I put them in portable kennels. This time, they got to ride in the back seat. They were so good! They didn’t fight or argue or touch each other. We never once had to threaten to pull the car over. There was almost no moaning, groaning and “are we there yet”s?

 are we there yet??

Because we’re grown-ups now and are never in a hurry to get anywhere, we stop for the night before dark, which coincides nicely with happy hour. It was fun having the dogs in the hotel. They get to do all the stuff they’re not allowed to do at home, like jump on the bed. It was nice having them sleep with us, too. For the first ten minutes. At first, I was all, “We should let them sleep with us. See? Isn’t this nice?”  It was only five minutes later that I was reminded why we don’t let them sleep with us. A) they are both more bed hogs than snugglers, B) Phoebe snores. Loudly. and C) does the name Farty McFarterson ring a bell? Yeah.

more hog than dog

We had a great time in Florida, even though it rained every day. Did you know Phoebe was born in Florida? Yep, I flew out to get her when she was just a 7 lb pup. Now look at her, all grown up and Texan! Phoebe spent some quality time with her grandparents, while Zoe made sure the squirrels stayed in the tree, where they belong.

granddog     watch dog

While we were there, because we’re all about keeping up with the Jones’ or in this case, the in-laws, we decided the time was nigh to get an RV. Listening to them talk about the trips they have planned with their new RV had us itching for one, too. It’s always been our retirement dream to tour the U.S. in a big RV. We’ve decided to get a smaller one for now and get the big one when CGMan retires for good. Between the two of us and the two dogs, I’m sure I’ll have no shortage of blog material.

How wonderful is my husband? Well, let me tell you. Not only did he do all the driving on this trip, pump all the gas AND take me to see my mother (who had yet to meet her grand-dogs), he changed our course miles out of the way, just so I could see something I had never seen before:

meet me in St Louis

That’s right, friends, we made an 11 state loop in ten days. I’m thinking Bossy doesn’t have anything on Iron Butt. Ooh! That just gave me an idea for when we get our RV! “Dawn’s Amazing Road Trip” I could travel around and visit my faithful readers! All nine of you.

That sounds like fun. Right, Phoebe?

when is dinner?