Monday, October 18, 2010

Pick me, pick me!!…

I am off for my first ever jury duty today. I received a letter saying I have not actually been chosen for the jury, I’m just to show up for the selection process. Damn, but this reminds me of picking teams in sixth grade…I was always picked last, standing there trying to look nonchalant and not all that eager, when inside I was screaming “Me! me! mememememe!”. You know, I’m pretty sure it showed. Nothing like having the overeager underachiever on your team, eh? Yes, I was horrible at athletics even as a child. But at least I had enthusiasm back then. Now I just have sarcasm.

What I’m trying to say is, I hope I get picked for the jury. I hope I can sit still and look bored like every one else. Not wiggle around in my seat, trying to get the attention of the lawyer so I can whisper, “Me! Pick me!”  as I am pretty sure that is not proper courtroom etiquette.

As I was doing my jury research online, I came across this little gem….

 

 

Yes, your honor, I am ready to serve on this jury. Please, pick me!!

13 comments:

  1. The last jury duty I got was on a SUV theft ring out of St. Louis. The dummies sold a stolen SUV to a DA’s wife her in Mississippi. When the DA’s wife couldn’t register the car after giving the perps $8,000 cash, it did not go well for the perps. Those guys were not good people. I took great pleasure in giving them a guilty verdict.

    The head perp was put on the witness stand. His attorney knew he would do himself in but he had some testimony. The convict was all, “Oh yeah yo, nobody ganks me, yo.” Well, they found one young 19 year old woman who he paid to drive a stolen car while he followed behind her. She didn’t know the SUV was stolen. She thought she was just transporting an SUV. When she got to the destination, he got her a hotel room and then left her there, didn’t pay her and certainly didn’t take her “clubbing” [night clubbing] as promised. Needless to say she testified and he got “ganked by the skank.” I wanted to send him up the river on that alone. I think it’s a crime to promise a young lady you’ll go night clubbing and then break the date.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My jury duty experience involved two armed men who broke into the home of a drug dealer. It was very exciting.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just remember that if they are guilty, lock 'em up. And if they aren't guilty but look like they could commit a crime in the future, lock 'em up. Or if they remind you of someone from your past that treated you wrong, lock 'em up. Perhaps you should just plan to lock 'em up for good measure no matter what the lawyers say. Wouldn't want to set him free if he might be guilty. And I understand jail isn't as bad as it used to be... they even got cable TV now...

    Or, perhaps it'll just be a civil case about someone cutting down their neighbor's tree without permission. Boring.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good luck! Here's hoping you get picked!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You know, I've always wanted to serve on a jury, too, but I NEVER get picked. One of the downsides of being married to an attorney in a small town, I guess. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope you get picked first *and* get to be the jury foreman. Yea! Team Dawn!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I had the stupid twenty somethings that paint balled a house and hit a young kid. They cut a deal while we were deliberating. The judge at least bought us lunch and thanked us. I wished I could have had them pick up trash by the side of the road at the very least!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good luck! And I hope it's a really, salacious murder case! I'm pulling for you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good luck! The closest I ever got to jury duty was a court date that was cancelled before I even made it to the court room to learn the details of the crime. Here's hoping you have something more dramatic.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I hope you get chosen and you get a really juicy case, and then come back here and tell us all about it and then they find out and send you to jail! Oh, wait. Maybe not that last part. Best to hold off on the details until you're all done.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Loved the comedy sketch. Believe it or not, I have never been picked for jury duty. Now I have probably just invoked bad karma for saying that out loud.....

    ReplyDelete

I would love to hear what you have to say!

If you don't have a website but want to choose a username instead of "anonymous" click Name/URL (the URL is optional)