Thursday, September 23, 2010

I thought urban survival meant learning to hail a cab…

Apparently, there is more to urban survival than learning to ride the subway or getting a reservation at a trendy restaurant. It also means how to survive in the event of something catastrophic, like having your city flooded and then frozen. Or if a meteor hits the earth and wreaks havoc with all mankind. Don’t even get me started on killer viruses that leave good people like me out there to fend for myself. You should also learn what to do if aliens from outer space (not Mexico) took over and relegated our species to be their pets.

According to the movies, and the homeless guy on the corner, the world’s end is near. The only survival skills I have are, how to substitute real milk for buttermilk or how to make cake flour with regular flour (add cornstarch). So I am pleased there are shows like “Survivor” and “Man vs. Wild” to teach us how to get by without all the modern conveniences like indoor plumbing and sautĂ© pans.

I have only watched the shows a couple times, but the one thing I have learned is that you can eat bugs to survive. As I’m flicking through the channels, every time I pause on either of these shows, they are always eating some kind of bug or another. From that, I’m gathering that is the most important survival skill there is, otherwise why would they show it so much?

Because who would want to eat bugs for pleasure?

 

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Yes, this is the same store with the scorpion lollypops. If it weren’t for the vodka, I wouldn’t shop there at all.

11 comments:

  1. I have eaten the crickets in Oaxaca because it is a tradition, part of the culture. Oh, I almost forgot that I have eaten them and the ant larva in tacos too. You put enough garlic and butter on those things you won't even know they are there! : )

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  2. Gross. I might have to starve before I eat the bugs.

    I do love the Survivorman, though. I'd get stuck with him in an arctic wasteland any time. I would not, however, let him feed me crickets.

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  3. Gross. People eat them because they WANT to and not because they HAVE to? Eeewwww!

    I can start a fire with my glasses. That's about all I got going for me.

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  4. Um... Crick-ettes would so make me vom-ette. So not doing that, not even for survival.

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  5. Yet another example of the weirdness that is Austin. The adult beverage stores in Dallas only have adult beverages and a few non-bug type snacks.

    Usually, if someone I trust tells me something is good to eat, I'll try it, but this time, I'm with Sharon.

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  6. Crick-ettes would only go down if coated in chocol-ette. Otherwise, I think I'd finally become a vegetarian.

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  7. Being from Iowa, I enjoy bringing scorpion lollipops back from my trips to Texas to gross out friends and coworkers. I need to look for those Crick-ettes next time I'm in Austin.

    ...not that I would let those Crick-ettes anywhere near my mouth...eeewwwww

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  8. The only useful thing I know about disaster planning is to bring the dog's immunization record with me if I have to evacuate or she may get kicked out of wherever I end up.

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  9. OK, the most hilarious part is how they are flavored! Bacon and cheese?

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  10. If you want pest free shopping for alcohol move to here (Ontario, Canada). We buy our wine and beer at stores that sell ONLY that--no critters or other distractions!!!

    I'm with Meg above--bacon and cheese?!!

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