Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wordless Wednesday….NOT

Today is Wednesday. I like Wordless Wednesday because even when I’m in a writing slump, I can usually whip out a picture or two of my fabulously attractive dogs and call it a day. I had every intention of doing that today, but I have PTSD and just can’t think of cute, silly pictures right now.

You see, last night, I was sitting on my recliner with my phat Phoebe, when she jumped up and lunged off the chair at something she saw on the floor. Just about the time she landed near it, I saw that it was a scorpion. A big one. Just strolling along my living room rug! Because Phoebe was interested in something walking along the floor, Zoe was instantly interested, too. I didn’t want them messing with it, so I screamed, which woke up caused CGMan to leap off his chair, with no shoes on, scattering the dogs and giving the scorpion a chance to get away. He finally found it as it was walking out from the opposite end of the coffee table. A hefty man-sized TWAP! with a size 11 flip flop was all it took to kill the bastard. But I wasn’t convinced, so I had him TWAP! it again.

After checking to make sure it hadn’t brought the family, CGMan assured me there were no more and that it was safe to get off my chair. He did wonder, though, how it got in. I’ve been told they can pick the lock. (I’ve just realized the last big scorpion scare happened on Tuesday, as well. I think we need to cancel Tuesdays)

I. Hate. Scorpions.

Because I now have PTSD, I am going to therapy today. Retail therapy. Now that all the children are back in school, I can shop in relative peace and quiet. Hallelujah. No more ill-behaved children being allowed to run willy nilly through the store, while disinterested parents continue to cajole and plead for them come try on this pair of pants. I say leave the kids at home with dad, do all the shopping, take it home and say, “This is what you’re wearing to school this year. Period” It worked for me.

For those of you who tune in only on Wednesdays to see what charming picture I might post, your trip has not been wasted.

LapDog PhatLapDog

13 comments:

  1. I'd say that both your words and your pictures are worth tuning in for.

    I've never seen a scorpion, and the idea of finding one in my house is enough to ensure that I never move to a warmer climate. As for the kids in the malls... that's why God created internet shopping.

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  2. I Hate Scorpions too. I have PTSD for you!

    I am also very happy that you posted pics of the dogs instead of that "Bastard"! :)

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  3. All the kids around here are wanting to play with the snakes. I. HATE. SNAKES. They are only garter snakes and bull snakes as far as I know, but have I mentioned that I. HATE. SNAKES? God, I'm so glad they're back in school now. I'd go to the mall, if I liked shopping, which I don't. By the way, on your recommendation on June's blog, I went to see Get Low yesterday. It was...different. I didn't love it, but I liked it. Definitely not your average formula movie. Bill Murray is still hilarious. It was worth the six bucks. :)

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  4. I'm still formulating a post for this, but I have to share with you that I STEPPED ON A SCORPION on Monday, and was in massive pain all day from the sting. Seriously. Had to drive with ice in my shoe. This is what I get for going out in jammies and no shoes to snap pics of the girls on first day of school.

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  5. Oh! Also, I went shopping on Sunday night for groceries, and as I was LEAVING the store at 9:45pm (PM!), there were at least two families coming INTO the store, school supply shopping lists in hand. The hell? School starts early on Monday. Could you plan maybe just a tad better next time?

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  6. Oh man I want to cuddle with your dogs so bad! That tongue hanging out always gets me.

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  7. Definitely a case for retail therapy if I've ever seen one. I'm okay with most creepy-crawlers, but scorpions are just plain nasty!

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  8. I think scorpions would be the bane of your existence, right? I freak when there's a moth in the house, so I feel your pain. Good thing there are cute dogs to take away PTSD!

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  9. You sure have your problems with scorpions, don't you? I'm thinking it must be an Austin thing since BD has issues, too. I haven't seen any here in a long time. Maybe they don't like our pest control guy.

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  10. I'm surprised I'm not looking at a picture of this scorpion walking around your living room?

    Well, okay, I'm not really surprised I guess. I'll settle for the dogs *this time*.

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  11. I see you're wearing your bulldog-drool apron. Good thinkin.

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  12. Scorpions? Fake snakes? What is going on in your house?!

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  13. And you and BD are all, come and visit us in TX, Meg, it's fabulous here. You know what we don't have in MI? We don't have scorpions!

    I have PTSD just reading your post. Although, the cute pics of the dogs helped calm me down.

    Also, I didn't realize you could kill a scorpion with a flip flop, like a bug. I picture them more skeletal, like a turtle or something like that. Thank goodness I am wrong. Clearly I watch too many sci-fi/fantasy films.

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