Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Oh, she’s a mother alright….

Dear Mother Nature,

Why won’t you let me sleep? Why are you always messing with me?

First, it was teenage hormones keeping me up all night, worrying about boys and what to wear to prom.

Then it was motherhood. Tell me again why you can’t make babies that sleep all night?

And teenagers. What’s up with that? If you know of any mom who got a full night’s sleep while there were teenagers under her roof, I’d like to meet her.

I won’t mention the sleepless nights while the Marine was serving in Iraq, although I’m pretty sure you’re to blame for that, too.

After 25 years of raising kids, you would think my reward would be to get a full night’s sleep. What is with you, Mother Nature? Why do you continue to torment me?

If it’s not hot flashes waking me in the night, it’s having to pee every 3 hours. Oh, and then you throw in the occasional insomnia, when I don’t even get the luxury of falling asleep at all.

What have I done to make you hate me so?

I’m sure a lot of people see you as a perfectly lovely woman. The one who makes the world a beautiful place.


But this morning, after yet another night of night sweats and premenopausal mood swings… I’m thinking you’re kind of a bitch.



Sleepless in Suburbia


  1. What!!! You don't tell this to the person yet to have kids. I think I should go take a nap while I can.

  2. Ugh...that bites. I hate insomnia and restless nights. I don't know how the menopausal night sweats and all that work, but have you tried melatonin? It's like my new favorite thing in the world!

  3. Yes, she is a total bitch. I'd cut her right now if I could. She's made me sore in all the wrong places, leaving me with NO comfortable sleep positions at the moment. I hate her.

  4. Oh Dawn I feel your pain - the teenager thing is in full swing - have that - have insomnia anyway - restless leg syndrome and am starting the mood swings, sweats - and I still have an 8 year old! Ambien works great for me when I need a good nights sleep! Maybe just something over the counter will work for you? Good luck -it's not alot of fun!

  5. Dearest Dawn,
    Any time you're up in the middle of the night worrying or sweating or peeing, so are many of your sistas. We've been taking turns and we never miss a night.

  6. Any night it's 4 in the freaking exactly a.m., I will be right there with you. That is SOOO my time of night.

  7. I haven't started with the night sweats yet, but I know I have hot flashes. Sometimes I want to crawl in the freezer and shut the door. Oh, and often I feeling like killing people for no particular reason.

    I have a theory though...speaking of Mother Nature being a bitch...I am 43 right now, and my youngest daughter is seven. I just know that I am going to go into full-blown menopause at the same time she gets her period. Won't that be fun? I'll have a few choice words for dear Mother Nature at that time. The bitch.

  8. Whatever you've done, apparently I have too....appearing in the form of a 3-year old Labrador who still insists on pooping on the expensive rug in the middle of the night, but refuses to poop on his pre-bedtime walks!

  9. Yep, right there with ya my friend! Been us since 4:30 AM. Can't sleep, it sucks.

  10. Wow... I slept great last night. Perhaps she just doesn't like YOU! :)

    Actually, I use sleep as my denial that anything is happening that I can't deal with at the moment. It's my escape. I can't imagine not having it!

  11. Yo, yo, yo, yo. Guys go through it with you. Every 4 a.m. flush, every kicking off covers, every complaint. I been reading up on this. One year of no periods and then it's smooth sailing. Well, other than your bones get brittle and your arm falls off, but other than that, smooth sailing I tell ya.

  12. I'm working on about 5 hours, because the oldster gene is hitting me and it doesn't matter what time I go to bed, my old bones are telling me it's time to get up at 6 am.

    I am getting a lot of writing done, that is, through my fog.

  13. Well at least you aren't having nightmares about bees....right? Although now that I look you posted this before reading my blog, so......I'll feel very bad if I'm disturbing what little sleep you do get Dawn.

    Sweet dreams!


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