Monday, August 16, 2010

It was just one of those days…

Don’t you hate it when you innocently carry a shipping box out to the trash can and come back in to find a snake on your kitchen floor? Then you have to backpedal out the door as fast as you can, trying not to trip down the stairs.

After sitting on the patio for 10 minutes, waiting for your heart rate to come back down from heart attack range, you think about how fast the snake got into your kitchen. So you think to yourself that you’d better get in there, because if he’s that fast, he’s likely to hide somewhere in the house and then you wouldn’t know where he was. Ever.

Fighting down the panic that thought ensues, you head back up the stairs to the back door, damning the fact that your cell phone is on the kitchen table and you can’t call for back-up. As you peer through the doorway, you notice the snake is still there, in the same spot, and you wonder why, given all the hysterical noise that had been going on only moments before.

You take a cautious step forward. The snake doesn’t move. That’s when you realize that it is not a snake at all, but rather a piece of squiggly packaging material that had apparently fallen out of the shipping box on the way to the trash. You are thankful to the powers that be that you didn’t have a real heart attack over a not real snake.

Don’t you just hate when crap like that happens?




  1. Any thoughts or sightings of what may or maynot be a snake always gives reason for heart attacks or heart racings. Glad you survived the fake heart atack and snake.

    Just a few weeks ago I got the hand gun after a snake in the back yard. I shot and missed, screamed and no one heard me over the 3 crazed dogs! I ended up going to get the hoe and that did the trick. It's just that you have to get closer than I would like with a hoe.

  2. Ahmygoodness. It's Miller time. :)

  3. Oh my gosh, that is so funny. And this time I'm laughing with YOU. :) This is exactly why we didn't buy a house on the greenbelt.

  4. You should have called SKATER and had him come and get it, as he likes snakes so well.LOL

  5. Is it terrible that that is hilarious?

  6. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. It's an honest mistake. It must've really sucked to be in that situation without your cell phone. Boo to that!

    To make you feel just slightly better I will share an equally embarassing tale. Last night J and I got home from a party at about 11 at night. I was walking in the door after him and just as I opened the door our a/c unit turned on. It's to the left of the back door, in the dark part of our yard, the exposed part where monsters, lions, serial killers, critters, etc are likely to hide. The noise scared me enough that I screamed and launched myself into the house. J came running and was all "What's wrong?" Yeah...apparantly he was less than impressed that he had to rescue me from the air conditioner.

  7. Not only am I laughing, but I read your sentence as you "peed though the doorway". Which I thought was totally believable given the circumstances.

  8. On a positive note, your cell was on the kitchen table so you were unable to call for backup. Nobody dropped everything to rush over to you to deal with the not real snake. THAT would have been embarrassing.

  9. OMG - I just had the heart attack for you! I have reptile phobia - so at times I too have imagined that something like packing material was a snake - I've imagined sticks were etc..........I SO feel your pain on this - I would have pee'd and crapped myself it there were a snake in my house!

    Do you know we have actually have Timber Rattlers and Copperheads here in the NE but they are rare and numbers are so small that they are considered endangered? I am thankful for this useless information from the State of Mass - another reason I will probably always live in snow land!

  10. Unless...and this is only a theory...the snake hid and replaced himself with a piece of packing material to throw you off his path, and he's currently slithering around RIGHT NOW in some undisclosed location, like under the sink, or in your shoe closet.

    But don't worry. Only a theory.

  11. LGBG is just mean! Although very funny at the same time.

    I could totally see myself doing the same thing.

  12. Oh that happens to me all the, really. What you should be thankful for is that your cell phone "was" out of reach so you didn't make that panicky phone call, haha.


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