Thursday, June 10, 2010

Things I just don’t understand…

There are so many mysteries in life. It’s not for us to understand them all, I get that. But there are some things that just shouldn’t be so mystifying.

Paper towel dispensers
I don’t understand why they changed the paper towel dispensers. What was wrong with the ones where you crank the handle to get your paper towel out? Have you seen the new ones? Where the towels stick out of the bottom and you’re to “pull straight down”? Yeah, when I do that, I pull out 6 feet of paper towels. I can never get just enough to wipe my hands dry. I always seem to pull out enough to dry my car. I don’t see how that is more economical.

Getting out of the car
When I get to where I’m going, I park the car and get out. There really isn’t anything more to it than that. Open the door, grab purse, step out, close door. Can someone please tell my what my husband is doing in there that takes 5 minutes?? We get to where we’re going, I jump out and head to the store, I look back and he’s still in the car. So I wait. and wait. and wait some more, wondering if he is having trouble with his lipstick or something. I mean, what is he doing? Do I have to remind any of you that this is Texas and it is 187° outside? With 132% humidity?

Hot Flashes 
What is the purpose of a hot flash? Why must we suffer these? Isn’t it enough that prom night was a disaster because of Mother Nature’s little present? Or a honeymoon? Let’s not forget the torture of blossoming bosoms. Oh, the taunts of 6th grade boys. Yeah, nice memories, that. And now, after all these years, Mother Nature turns on us, yet again, with not only menopause, which has it’s own wonderful set of side effects. She has also given us up to five years of pre-menopause, with all it’s mood swings and weight gain and the dreaded hot flash.

This is no lie. Last night I dreamed I was doing my homework with this really hot high school senior. This because I always dream I’m young and in high school again. At least this time I wasn’t walking the halls naked. Anyway, we’re sitting there working diligently on geometry (don’t get me started about why is there such a thing as geometry?) when he says, “Can you check the A/C in here? It’s getting hot”, only to awaken a moment later, suffering a case of night sweats. Which in laymen’s terms means hot flash at night! You know Mother Nature has it out for you when she starts messing with your dreams.

These are just a few of the things I don’t understand. There are many others, like teenagers, dogs, and scorpions (why??). I’m sure this is a topic that will come around again, as I try to figure stuff out.

What is something you don’t understand?

Wordless Wednesday…with some words…

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