Thursday, April 30, 2009

Now that I’ve made you curious…

I love road trips. I love to get in the car and just go somewhere. I think in my other life, I must have been a dog, because it doesn’t matter where we go, just that we get to go for a car ride. My dad calls me Iron Butt. I think that’s his way of calling me courageous or crazy.  Most likely both.

Daddy and the OR-Mum scoffed when I said I wanted to get on the back road between their house in Dallas and our house in Austin. They were sure there would be nothing to see. Well, look what I found!

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That’s right! The Worlds Largest Rocking Chair and the Billy The Kid Museum. You wouldn’t find that along I-35, now would you?

One time, CGMan and I drove the back roads through the state of Louisiana. Just because. While there, we saw the Tabasco factory and museum.

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We paused in New Orleans long enough to see a voodoo museum and have my palm read.

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We crossed Lake Pontchartrain, then crossed a river on a ferry boat. Then we stopped at Louisiana's most eccentric museum, The UCM (you-see-um) Museum and Mystery House.

IMG_0907 It had all kinds of cool stuff in it! Extra points if you can tell me what these are:

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Our last stop was at the Bonnie and Clyde Museum outside of Shreveport. All good stuff.

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The next year, the Skater and I took a week and drove to the Four Corners, just to say we did.

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We stopped in Roswell, hugged an alien and saw a couple of cool museums. Then spent the night at Carlsbad Caverns.

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I even took a road trip in Canada! That’s right, when I visited my BFF, she took me on a road trip. I don’t think when we headed out, she knew what an enthusiastic traveling companion she had.

We saw bears (not the real kind, although she said they were “everywhere”) elk, a glacier and even a cow.

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What I did not see when I was in Canada: a moose, a real bear or a Mountie. (p.s. A bear dressed like a Mountie does not count) I guess I will just have to go back for more research.

And these, my friends, are just a few of the pictures of my wacky travels. I’ve lost some to computer crashes and others are on that old timey medium called “film” and would require scanning. Suffice it to say, I have crossed off quite a few things on my bizarre road trip quest.

I’ll be sharing more of my road trip adventures over time. It’s one of my favorite subjects. And I’m sure you never gave those roadside attractions a second thought, did you? But now…now I’ve sparked your curiosity. It’s okay to admit it. I won’t tell.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The pig dives no more…

I was so sad to hear that Ralph the pig no longer dives at the Aquarena in San Marcos. Skater and the Girl were going to take me to see Ralph for Mother’s Day (which we’re celebrating this Sunday).

You see, I love roadside attractions. When I see a billboard on the side of the road, I’m all about seeing what’s in there. It may stem from all the years of passing “The THING” and not stopping. I think that’s why I love road trips so much.

For Christmas last year, the kids gave me a couple of books: Roadside America and Weird America. It was fun to go through the books and mark off the places I had already been, even before knowing they were in a book!

I read about the Aquarena in San Marcos and how they had this diving pig named Ralph. When I looked it up, the park has changed and it is not so much a kitschy roadside attraction as an educational field trip destination. No thanks. I wanted to see the diving pig.

Last year, the Skater went with me to the Snake Farm on I-35. I’m told it’s been there forever, since my parents went there once when I a tiny tot. That must have been about 20 years ago or so. Where “so” equals another twenty years, but whatever.

So today will be spent looking for something unique for us to do for Mother’s Day. It really shouldn’t be too hard here in Austin, where there is plenty of weird stuff. Why, just last weekend was Eeyore’s birthday.

While on the Roadside America website, I did read of a guy right here in South Austin who has a junk cathedral. That might be worth seeing. It’s no diving pig, but I could cross it off my list of stuff to see before I die.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

You can’t keep a squirrel on the ground…

- Mary Lasswell

 

And neither can you keep squirrels in your attic.

When my BFF from Canada was here, she told me there were squirrels in the attic. I was appalled. No way! This couldn’t be happening! I had gone all Martha Stewart to make sure the guest rooms were pretty and inviting.

I do not recall inviting squirrels!!

I had spent a lot of time on those guest rooms and matching bathrooms. I had finally found the right feel for the rooms and painted them (of course). I made the bathrooms so pretty with matching towels and girly scented soaps and soothing lotions.

In the bedrooms, I had everything just so for my guests. Right down to water carafes, remotes for the TVs and setting the ceiling fans to just the right spin. And now there were squirrels?!

squirrely

Don’t even try to convince me you’re an asset to this house. Nice try, though. The flag is a nice touch.

I suppose it’s my own fault. I feed them. They have their own little feeder box on the farthest tree in the backyard. How was I to know to a squirrel that is an invitation to move in? And start a family? Because apparently that is what they’ve been doing.

With a heavy heart, knowing that my “perfect hostess” status has now been compromised, I called Rick at the pest control. He came out, set some traps and closed up the nine (nine!) entrances they had made into the attic. On that first day, he caught one. And now, several days later, he caught Junior.

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He promised me he would take him five miles down the road and release him. Rick tells me that he has to go at least 5 miles or they will find their way back. Here’s another tidbit, since we’re learning about critters today: Raccoons have to be taken over 10 miles away!! Now that is some serious trash diggers.

Well, at least the squirrels will be gone from the attic before the next BFF comes for a visit. That’s a good thing for the squirrels, trust me.

Monday, April 27, 2009

It’s Monday…

I had a crappy weekend. Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and you know you’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed and there just doesn’t seem to be anything you can do about it? Yeah, me too.

And the more you try to tell people that you’re in a bad mood, the more they want to try to help you out of your funk? And really, you just want to be left alone so you can wallow in some self pity? Yeah, me too.

And then you sit in front of the TV, which you don’t even like, and watch a marathon of NCIS just because its mind numbing? And you can talk to the TV and say things like “Take that! You stupidass bad guy” and feel better because you got to yell at someone who actually deserved it? Yeah, me too.

And then on Monday morning, you wake up and just lay in bed and wonder if you’re still in a bad mood? Has it lifted, finally? Maybe. But it’s Monday. hhmm the jury may still be out.

Then do you go in to make some coffee, all the while thinking that you’re going to have to write about your crappy weekend,  and wonder if anything good can come out of a crappy weekend? Yeah, me too.

And then maybe you might get an email from CGMan that has a picture in it that is sure to make you smile? No? He didn’t send it to you?

I’ll share mine:

Then you think to yourself that your commute is never this much fun and poof! the bad mood is gone. Even on a Monday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, April 24, 2009

Traitor…

trai–tor {trey-tor} – noun-  1. one who betrays another

Elmo is a traitor. He has totally betrayed me. Me! The very one who raised him from birth. I made sure he was fed, and cleaned and when his eyes opened for the very first time? He saw me. He wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me. For nine years we’ve been together. Inseparable. Buddies.

So when I asked Skater to mind Elmo for me while I was in Abu Dhabi, I thought this was just a babysitting situation. But then, Skater wouldn’t give him back! I do believe the definition of that… is kidnapping. 

Skater recently came to stay with me. He’s missing his mom and wants to move home waiting for his apartment to become available. I thought to myself this would be a perfect opportunity to get my precious Elmo back. God only knows he must have been missing me terribly. I mean, I am his momma, right? We’re close. Family.

Yah, right.

He’s changed. I think he must have Stockholm Syndrome or something. Because all he does is wait for his kidnapper Skater to come home. He totally ditches me, to go to him. The man who has kept him from his momma. That can be the only explanation, he’s sick. He’s been brainwashed. Or maybe he had a conversation with the dogs. Who knows? All I know is, my Elmo has betrayed me. He has fallen in with those who would break my heart.

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And the Skater? He’s totally a traitor, too.

 

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Threatening Thursday…

I read a lot of blogs. I love them. Just a few of my favorites are listed on the side. One thing I’ve noticed as I surf through the blogosphere is catchy days of the week. Like Ten Word Tuesday, Wordless Wednesday and Thankful Thursdays. I could spend all day looking at all the thankfulness, and wordlessness and shortest paragraphs ever. But I’m here to share with you the first ever Threatening Thursday.

You may ask why we would need a Threatening Thursday. Here is why:

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< First, I saw this.

 

 

 

 

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Then I looked over and saw this>

 

 

 

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< Then I saw this! Do you see remorse of any kind?

Me neither!!

 

 

 

Without batting an eye, I threatened them with this:

 

Travelin Dogs

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Traffic school…

I have a question. Maybe this would be a good one for all you folks going to the Laugh-In driving school they have here in Austin.

Who has the right of way in this situation?

The red Kia making a probably possibly illegal U-turn or the black SUV making a right on red, with her left blinker going?

We made our moves at the same time. As we did, we made eye contact. And her eyes were sayin “Get out of the way, can’t you see where I’m going?” Did I mention the left blinker? And my eyes said “Oh no you don’t lady, I was here first.” I might even have showed her which way I was going with my middle finger, just in case she needed a visual. And then it was on. Because I was smaller, I was able to whip my U-turn and get in front of her, barely. She then proceeded to stay right on my bumper, acting all superior. I just laughed because, guess what? I’m in front of you!

I need to know this in case I ever get my ass kicked over it a ticket or something. I can just tell the cops that my readers, who have graduated from the Laugh-In School of Driving, have assured me that I had the right of way and that it is perfectly acceptable to give the other lady hand signals in lieu of a blinker, considering she doesn’t know how to use a blinker. Right?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Heiferyung has a domain!

I decided it was time to have my own domain name. Even though I’m really Dawn in Austin, so many people know me as “Heiferyung” that I thought it best to grab it before someone else decided to become a young heifer.

So please change your bookmarks to

www.heiferyung.com

If I read all the instructions correctly, you’ll still be able to get to me through the old address, but the new one is much prettier and easier to remember.

Because no matter where I travel, I’ll always be Heiferyung.

When you look this good…

Austin has some fabulous restaurants. It is really hard to get a bad meal in this town. CGMan and I have been working our way through them, and there are a lot! We love the food in Austin.

When my BFF was here from Canada with her sister, I took them out to eat. It’s one of my favorite places to take “foreigners”. And by foreigners, I mean those people who are not from Texas. Because apparently, we’re going to be our own country. Does that mean “Texan” will become an official language? Will kids in Oklahoma have to take it in school, in case they ever have to leave their country to get a job? Or will we have to revert back to Spanish? Just wonderin.

We get in the car with the BFFs and the Girl and head out. This place is way out there. Through the desert and over the dam, way out there. Not much to see along the way. The BFFs might have been worried we were going to just drop them in the desert somewhere. They’ve heard about all the crime in the States, you know.

We finally get there and get a good table. I ordered for them a fun Austin-type drink. I was DD, so I didn’t have one. I’ve had them before, and whoooo-eeee they sock a punch. There was live music, natch. For those of you who might not know, Austin is the “Live Music Capital of the World”. There aren’t too many places in Austin that don’t have a live band at least once a week. Shoot, even Nordstrom’s has live music. He’s a long haired, hippy looking fellow that plays the piano. He’s awesome.

This place is great to take people who have never been to Austin, but really, you don’t come to here for the food. Because, honestly? It sucks. There is just no way to say it nicely. And because Austin is so weird, they don’t care that their food sucks. In fact, they’re kinda known for it.

I’ve been to this place several times, always with the hope that the food will be good. Nope. It just isn’t. I will learn, someday, to just go for the big fancy rum drinks and leave the food alone. Maybe take in a dance lesson or two. I have asked around as to why this place has such lousy food. And the answer has always been this:

… when you have views like this, who cares about the food?

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Monday, April 20, 2009

Keeping it weirder than normal…

There’s a saying here: Keep Austin Weird.

It’s a great saying. It lends to the eclectic-ness that is Austin. Things are a little different here. It can be bizarre, kooky and funky. It can also be just plain weird. As in where did this weirdo come from??

I don’t run into too many weirdos, but every now and then, one pops out at me in the most unexpected of places. And I am usually unprepared.

I went to the U-Haul store to rent a trailer. Just a trailer. I was only thinking about the small move I was going to make. But the fella behind the counter had a different agenda. He seemed nice enough at the beginning, then he asked for my driver’s license:

Him:“Aren’t you scared to have ‘donor’ on your card here?

Me: “wha??”

Him: “Aren’t you afraid they won’t work on you hard enough so they can sell your liver and kidneys to the rich people?”

Me, thinking surely, he’s joking: “um, I guess I never thought of it that way”

Him: “Yeah, they totally executed those prisoners from Tiananmen Square so they could sell their organs to the rich Asians. We should have never traded with them”

Me? I didn’t say a word. I mean really, what can you say to that? But I’m thinking, okay, this guy is definitely weird.

So then he asks what type of vehicle I will be using to tow the trailer. That seemed normal enough, right? But I’m still leery, you know?

Me: A Kia Sorrento

Him: “No! Not a Kia? A Vietnamese car? Pouring money into the country that killed all our soldiers.” as he’s shaking his head in shame.

Okay, I’m speechless now. All I wanted was to rent a trailer. I was not prepared to have this kind of conversation with anybody, but especially– the U-Haul guy?

Then he apologizes and says “Sorry, I’m just very p…”

(I thought he was going to say patriotic and for some reason that pissed me off. I’m patriotic too, and I drive a Kia)

“….political.”

I get my wits about me enough to say: “Well, that’s all very well and good, but let me tell you; all my dads are veterans, my husband is retired Coast Guard and our son is a Marine, and not one of them has a problem with my Kia. So, if that will be all?”

This is true stuff, people. I’m not good enough to make this up. Even the Skater was kind of shocked. He’s about as tolerant as anyone can be. He said to me later, “I know Austin is weird, but that guy? Takes the cake.”

So yes, let’s Keep Austin Weird, just watch out for the weirdos.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Did you know….?

 

…lawn darts are illegal in Canada?

…the baseball glove was invented in Canada?

…Canada does not own the North Pole. It belongs to no country?

…according to the United Nations Human Development Index, Canada has the highest quality of life in the world?

…with only three people per square kilometer, Canada has the fourth lowest population density in the world? (That would explain the high quality of life.)

…the USA buys more oil from Canada than from Saudi Arabia?

…basketball was invented by a Canadian?

…Canada has the world’s longest coastline?

…Lacrosse was the only national sport of Canada until 1994 when ice hockey was added as the winter national sport?

…that after my BFF leaves tomorrow, I’ll be throwing “eh?” behind my sentences for the next week?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Can I borrow a cup of sugar?

As you know, I’m in Austin. I’m not famous.

My BFF is in town this week with her sister. They’re from Canada, eh? They are not famous, either.

As I took them around on a sightseeing trip, the subject of famous people came up. They wanted to know if anyone famous lived in Austin. Well, yes, in fact there are quite a number of famous people in Austin. To name a few, Mike Dell, Sandra Bullock and of course, Lance Armstrong. There are more. And a lot more come to visit during South by Southwest and ACL ( a modern day Woodstock Music Festival).

We’re out looking around at the beautiful scenery and they ask if if I know where Sandra Bullocks lives. I’m all oh gosh no! How would I know that?. Sure I do! It’s that one over there with the grey roof and the boat garage.

Then they wanted to know about Mike Dell. All I know about Mike Dell is that he lives on a mountain and has a 360° view of Austin. So when they pointed to a mountain and asked if that was his mountain, I was all Why yes, yes it is.

Everyone loves Lance Armstrong. Of course, he’s a loveable guy. Every cyclist we passed (and my there are a lot of cyclists in Austin!), they asked if it was him. While we were enjoying the scenery, I made sure to point him out, so they could say they finally saw Lance Armstrong.

I’m sure by now you’ve figured out that I am all kinds of full of BS. I can’t help it. We were having such fun. The girls know they have been taken in by me, but they totally plan to go home and tell all their friends the exciting things they saw. How is anyone to know?

And if you ever come to Austin? Here is your map:

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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I draw people to me, literally…

I love going to the airport. It doesn’t even matter whether I’m the one traveling. It’s a great way to “people watch”. And sometimes I get to see them up close and personal.

I know I am not a “stand-out” person. I’m pretty average and I am totally okay with that. However, when I go to the airport and malls and things, I must be so average that I blend right into the floor. Because people….walk right into me!

So I’m in the airport last night, waiting for my friends from Canada, eh? And I’m standing. In one spot. Perfectly still. I’m not dodging about. I’m not meandering into the path of people with important places to go. No, I’m standing dead still. And three people walked right into me.

It’s happened to me for years. I used to see people like that coming at me and would take a step to the side or back, because I’m polite like that and wait for the “excuse me”, which never came. So I quit getting out of the way. I’m mean for crying out loud, why should I have to move? I’m standing still!! If I was a post, or a wall, they would walk around me, right? I just don’t get it.

I would swear one lady made eye contact with me before she put her head down and pretended like she didn’t see me as she careened toward me, pulling her leopard colored suitcase. Oh, it was on. I stood my ground and watched her come right at me. She swerved at the very last second, and swear to god, gave me a dirty look when her suitcase rolled over my foot. Don’t even play airport chicken with me, wench!

I suppose I could get a bucket with a sign that asks for donations to blahblahblah, people always steer clear of those guys! But really, if I’m going to draw people to me that way, I should learn to pickpocket stand next to a pole.

Monday, April 13, 2009

The day the paint saved my life…

As I was blissfully painting the bathroom the other day, I thought back to when my love for paint really started. And how it saved my life.

After a not-so-pretty divorce, I moved to the mid-south with my three kids in tow. We lived with a wonderful woman, who has asked to remain anonymous on this blog. In fact, her exact words were “You’re not going to talk about me, are you? And you damn sure better not show a picture of me.” In the interest of her privacy, and because I’m scared of her, we’ll call her Wow (that’s Mom spelled upside down).  Anyway, we lived with Wow for about 8 months before finding our own place.

The little house house that I found to rent wasn’t all that special. It was drab and small, but close to my job, which I hated. We were poor, which I also hated. But we managed to get by. I fell into a nasty depression. A depression that I have never known before or since. I couldn’t find any enjoyment in life. I hadn’t made any friends. And boyfriends? That was a joke. For six months I lived in that ugly little house, just going from one day to the next. Even my wonderful children had a hard time getting me to smile.

Then one afternoon, Wow showed up with a gallon of paint. It was yellow, left over from a project she had done at her house. She basically told me that it was high time to quit wallowing in self pity and appreciate the things I had, instead of the things I didn’t have. In the divorce, all you got was the kids. So what? Is there anything more than that? And boyfriends? Who needs ‘em! You saw what trouble you had with the last man! Forget about it! And she was right. I was looking at life from all the wrong angles.

She handed me the gallon of paint and said, Now get in there and paint that kitchen yellow. You’ll be surprised at your outlook on life when you have coffee every morning in a sunny yellow kitchen. As I thought about her words, I painted the kitchen yellow and my life changed…forever.

While I painted, I felt lighter, happier and in charge of my own destiny. I could paint whatever color I liked. I didn’t have to ask anyone if they liked it. It was my house, I could do what I wanted. I was empowered.

After that, every extra dollar I had went to paint. I would go to Home Depot and buy a gallon of the oops! paint and paint a room. I eventually turned that ugly little house into a happy home for my little family. It was a sunny and cheerful place for us. My children laughed and danced…with me. We still didn’t have any money, but it didn’t matter, because we had each other. There was always something to giggle about, a game to play or a story to tell.

The three years we spent in that now colorful little house changed how I approached life. Anything that needed serious contemplating was done at the little table in the yellow kitchen. Answers were easier to find that way. Once there was color in my life, good things started to fall into place. A better job, friends and yes, that’s where I was living when I met CGMan.

Now, as I paint a room, even all these years later, I feel so happy, so lifted. As I paint, I wonder if Wow knows she saved my life that day. Because she was right, anything is possible when you have a little color in your outlook.

But then… Wow is always right.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Bunny Day…

 

 

 

hop_hop_hoppy_easter_dog

 

 

Oh yes indeedy, if I had found some bunny ears…those two weirdos of mine would be so wearing them today!

 

Happy Easter!

Friday, April 10, 2009

I’m a junkie…

A paint junkie. It’s true. I love to paint. You might be thinking that I like to paint canvases, that I’m an artist. Well, you would be wrong. I like to paint walls. The color of a wall can set the tone for the whole room. It’s up to me to find the “essence” and choose the color that enhances that. I wonder if there’s a market for an “essence appropriator”? As much as CGMan would like it if I would go and do “essence” in someone else’s house, I’m pretty sure my powers only work in my house. Sorry, honey!

Like any addiction, it started with just one room. Our house in Maryland was where I got my first whiff of paint. After having lived there for six years, I painted the kitchen to get ready to sell. Then, when I realized how wonderful it is to paint, I painted a couple more rooms. Oh my! It was wonderful! Why hadn’t I discovered this about myself before now? I had lived for 6 years in a house with white walls. Then we moved to a rental in Trinidad.

Trinidad has the most colorful houses! On the outside. Not so much on the inside. And besides, it was a rental. I had to put my obsession on hold. It was then I started watching shows like “While You Were Out” and “Design On A Dime”. Poor CGMan never saw it coming.

We decided to buy a brand new house when we moved back to the States. I chose all the details about our new house. When the design center lady asked me what color I wanted on the walls, I stared at her blankly. “Oh, honey, you don’t know the ‘essence’ of any of those rooms. No, no, I will paint it myself”. So as not to have white walls, I chose a very light tan color, crisp khaki. And then it began. One room at a time.

It has taken two years and two rooms have been painted twice. A room changes as it gets older, just like me. And begs for a lift. Just like me.

I am down to the last bathroom and bedroom. CGMan doesn’t understand. He says I never go upstairs, so why bother? No one else goes up there now that the kids are gone. But see? I know those walls haven’t been painted. I know the room is calling out for it’s personality to be set free.

So yesterday? I snuck in the back door of Wal-Mart and slid around to the paint counter. I glanced right and left and then ordered a gallon. A whole gallon! The color? Applesauce Cake.

**Let me just stop my rambling right here to ask what the hell kind of name is that? What happened to blue, brown, green and such? I have one bathroom that is Grasshopper Wing, of all things!

Like anyone (or thing) when it’s personality finally comes out, she/it needs accessories! I think this is really what sends CGMan. He’s a guy, he doesn’t understand the need to accessorize. That’s part of it, finding all the right items to add to the personality of the room. But honestly, I don’t care to shop. I wish I had a closet, or one of those big trailers like they have on TV, filled with knick knacks and candlesticks and stuff. Yeah, then I could just walk in, pick out what “goes” and leave. To go paint the next room.

Because really, it’s all about the paint.

Don’t tell CGMan, but while I was waiting for the paint to be mixed, I picked some new colors for our bedroom. It must have split personalities, because its begging to be painted for the third time!

Don’t think for a minute that while I was in Abu Dhabi, helping CGMan set up house, that I didn’t paint the kitchen and one dining room wall. While he was at work. Oh yes, I did. I told you, I’m a junkie and I can score anywhere. My dealer there? The home of the helpful hardware man!

I need help.

But not until that last room is painted.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

That’s my favorite!

 

Here is a sampling of my favorites…

 

Puppy dog noses  IMG_0440

 

IMG_1235and neckties on kittens

 

Squirrels in the gutters  IMG_2451

 

IMG_0789 and grooms that are smitten

 

A bird on a feeder held up with some stringIMG_3926

 

These are a few of my favorite things!

 

IMG_3800 Cream colored bulldogs

 

and crisp vodka tonicsIMG_0783

 

White walls and bare walls that need some paint on ‘em

Dining Room IMG_0779

 

IMG_0664The flag of our land and the pride that it brings

 

These are a few of my favorite things.

 

Girls in blue dresses with long black eyelashesIMG_0964

  

     IMG_2945 Wild crazy Skaters who fall on their asses

 

Warm Texas winters that morph into spring  IMG_0739[3][1] (2)

 

 

These are a few of my favorite things.

 

IMG_3726 When the dogs fight

 

When the ice “tings” IMG_0791

 

When I’m feeling sad…

 

I simply remember my favorite things,

and then I don’t feel so bad!

 

P.S. I’m so sorry I left them out, just this one time…

 IMG_2734 IMG_3372 

I couldn’t, for the life of me, force them to rhyme.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The finer points of photography…

Did I say finer? Oh no, I’m pretty sure I meant funnier. I am no photographer. I don’t even pretend to be one on TV. I have a Canon point and shoot camera. I’ve had several. I love them. They take great pictures. I do not. I have several friends who are great photographers and God love ‘em, I don’t know how they do it.

I recently took my little canon on a walk with the dogs, Zoe and Phoebe. I thought I would get some great evening shots of our lovely doggies to send to their daddy in Abu Dhabi. Yeah, so I thought.

Here are some helpful hints on taking pictures of dogs:

IMG_0708  Don’t take the picture when the subjects are too far away. It makes it hard to distinguish who is who (whom?). The black blob is Zoe and the fat blob is Phoebe.

 

 

 

 

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Don’t let them get too close,either. They’ll just walk on by. Everything is more interesting than you.

 

 

 

 

IMG_0735

Don’t take a picture of a dog sniffing the butt of a dog sniffing your crotch. It will not win you any prizes.

 

 

 

 

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Do try to get your subject to face the camera. Although, this one could have deep meaning. Hhmmm, what is she thinking about as she stares off into the distance? Thought provoking, isn’t it? NO! She’s thinking about food! She always thinks about food! And that my friends, is as deep as it gets.

 

 

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Okay, so the outdoors shots didn’t turn out so well. Now we’ll try the art of the “self portrait”. Camera set with 20 second timer? Check. Dog treats to entice dogs to sit on my lap? Check. 

 

 

 

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Fight over dog treats just as the camera starts to click? Check.

P.S. When it comes to treats, Phoebe has the brute strength, but Zoe is fast as lightening.

 

  

 

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Alright, let’s try a little closer to the camera. Everybody ready? No? By all means, Zoe, go chase the squirrel. We’re not doing anything important here. Isn’t there a saying in the movie biz about working with animals and children? Yeah, I’m all over that.

 

 

 

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I don’t know what it is with this dog that she can’t keep her eyes open for a picture. She  must be trying really hard. Or praying for dinner.

 

 

 

While this experience was fun and all, I think I’ll go back to taking pictures of flowers. This felt too much like work.