Thursday, October 22, 2009

House for sale…

Okay, this isn’t funny anymore. Not that being scared of  a scorpion and having to call your BFFs husband to come over in the middle of the night to kill it is funny. Well, maybe it was funny to Brian, especially when saw that I had locked it out.

Having another scorpion is definitely not funny. This one was only marginally smaller than the first one. I don’t understand why they have to be right there next to the door, looking all villainous and creepy. But I want you to know I’ve grown since the last time. I was not afraid. Okay, I was afraid, but at least it was daytime and I was able to think rationally. My first thought? Damn, Brian’s at work and I’m pretty sure only my own husband leave work to kill a bug for a me (and that’s very optimistically hopeful on my part).

Luckily my exterminator man, Rick, was here just the other day. I had shared with him my previous scorpion melodrama dilemma. He assured me, should I encounter another one, that spraying it with wasp spray from several feet away would kill him dead. Or a fly swatter. Um, Rick? No. But the wasp spray? I have some of that, so I am armed and ready.

Only now, I have to walk past the scorpion to get to the wasp spray. As I hurried past, I kept this mantra in my head “theydon’tjump,theydon’tjump,they.do.not.jump.” I grabbed the spray can and let loose, fully expecting the thing to just drop dead. He did not. He looked pissed off. So I sprayed him again. Now he looked pissed off and not feeling so good. After a third shot at him, he finally fell off the wall and writhed on the ground for another 3 to 4 minutes. I’m not lying! He was not dying! (ooh, I rhymed!)

Finally, he was barely moving, (but I swear to gawd. still. moving.) and I was able to scoop him up in a plastic cup and toss him over the fence. This is also no lie; I was shaking and having the hibbiest of jibbies the whole time. I was more worried that I would shake so much he’d fall out of the cup. bwaaah!

 

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Lovely house for sale. Four bedrooms, fireplace, nice yard, not haunted.

6 comments:

  1. So, so sorry for your latest crisis.
    Doesn't exterminator man, Rick have anything he can use to keep them away altogether???

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  2. Dawn, you need to move to Maine! We have NO poisonous snakes or bugs here. Swear.

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  3. You can't move to Maine... live lobsters always reminded me of giant red ocean scorpions that people eat. Ew.

    And maybe your exterminator just has the hots for you and doesn't want you to be completely free of pests, because then you won't need him anymore. How romantic.

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  4. Oh poor you.

    If I ever get to Austin to visit can you please make sure that all the scorpions are gone? Otherwise I won't sleep.

    thanks!

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  5. My understanding is that my exterminator will GUARANTEE that all scorpions are now dead. What else am I paying those guys for?

    My neighbor's husband just got bitten on the leg two days ago when a scorpion was hanging out in the pants he was attempting to put on. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

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  6. Girlfriend, you need to move to the northeast. Anywhere within a five hour drive and I'll come visit.

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