Friday, May 22, 2009

Oy! The stench!

Can somebody please tell me why, in the name of all that is right in the world, a dog feels it necessary to roll around so completely as to cover her whole body with the remains of something dead?!

This is a twofold problem, you see. First, I have to rewash the dog I just washed yesterday. Then, I have to scour the yard to find the offensive smelling dead thing. And trust me, it’s something dead. This is not just your run of the mill stinky dog smell.

Sometimes it’s pretty noticeable, like a dead snake. Um, EEEWW! But sometimes it’s not easily seen. For instance, the leftover midnight treat the cat left in the middle of the yard- a headless field mouse. In which case, I have to let the dog find it again and start to roll in it. Then I have to break her heart by yelling at her not to roll in it so I can scoop it up with the shovel and toss it over the fence.

The look of sadness is almost more than I can bear. Why? Why do they like this so much?? Does the smell of rotting mouse carcass release “feel good” endorphins like chocolate does for us? Does the oil of decaying garden snake sooth itchy skin? Does this act bring them back to their more primordial dog? Back to the time when they killed their own dinner? Did they roll in it then, too?

These are burning questions that run through my mind when my darling dog jumps in my lap for some lovin’ as she reeks of Eau de’ Putrid.

I believe if I find the answer to this question, it will open the door to all of life’s other mysteries. Like why men put the toilet paper under.

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