Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I draw people to me, literally…

I love going to the airport. It doesn’t even matter whether I’m the one traveling. It’s a great way to “people watch”. And sometimes I get to see them up close and personal.

I know I am not a “stand-out” person. I’m pretty average and I am totally okay with that. However, when I go to the airport and malls and things, I must be so average that I blend right into the floor. Because people….walk right into me!

So I’m in the airport last night, waiting for my friends from Canada, eh? And I’m standing. In one spot. Perfectly still. I’m not dodging about. I’m not meandering into the path of people with important places to go. No, I’m standing dead still. And three people walked right into me.

It’s happened to me for years. I used to see people like that coming at me and would take a step to the side or back, because I’m polite like that and wait for the “excuse me”, which never came. So I quit getting out of the way. I’m mean for crying out loud, why should I have to move? I’m standing still!! If I was a post, or a wall, they would walk around me, right? I just don’t get it.

I would swear one lady made eye contact with me before she put her head down and pretended like she didn’t see me as she careened toward me, pulling her leopard colored suitcase. Oh, it was on. I stood my ground and watched her come right at me. She swerved at the very last second, and swear to god, gave me a dirty look when her suitcase rolled over my foot. Don’t even play airport chicken with me, wench!

I suppose I could get a bucket with a sign that asks for donations to blahblahblah, people always steer clear of those guys! But really, if I’m going to draw people to me that way, I should learn to pickpocket stand next to a pole.

3 comments:

  1. I so don't know what happened to MANNERS anymore. When did they get done away with???

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  2. I love that you won the airport stand off. Game on, Leopard Print Bag Lady!

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  3. I used to work in the city & would sometimes have people barrel into me on the street. I could usually see it coming & found it very effective to walk with my fist in front of me. Not straight out like a sociopath, just positioned directly in front of my stomach. Oncoming traffic always steered clear of the fist.

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